That Damnable woman
by LinZE
Summary: The real reason why Serverus Snape goes to such lengths to antagonise Gryffindors. Before anyone says anything this was not supposed to be and isn't, entirely serious. Still not but now has a much better format oh and a second chapter...
1. Default Chapter

**THAT DAMNABLE WOMAN**; the real reason why Serverus Snape goes to such lengths to antagonise Gryffindors.

**Disclaimer**: All characters mentioned in this work are not mine but belong to JK Rowling.

Serverus Snape hated Gryffindors. He hated everything about them; their superior air, their ability to break rules and be let off because it was 'just their adventurous spirit' and he hated the pro-Gryffindor prejudice that flooded the castle.

And She was the very embodiment of Gryffindor. She was their head of house so that was only to be expected, just as it was to be expected that Professor Sprout would be an overemotional 'academics isn't everything' kind of a woman. But if he were honest he really would do nothing to make his dislike for them known if it wasn't for Her. The way she would rise to defend her darling little lion cubs was... well it was… well if he was honest it was damn sexy.

He knew that by terrorising Longbottom or giving Potter, Weasley and Granger hours worth of detentions, he would guarantee for her to be waiting for him in the staff room or even, he managed to manipulate her correctly in his office, at the end of the day to dress him down and hand out another lecture on equality.

He was mesmerised by the way her cheeks would flush and her eyes sparkle as she gestured emphatically with her delicate hands. It was all he could do sometimes not to grab hold of one of them and bring it to his lips.

He had on more than one occasion been glad of what his flowing robes could hide from sight as they had spent entire evenings in vigorous debate over the best way of teaching the pupils a lesson or what was just punishment for the Weasley twins latest escapade was.

He had watched her debate with the others and he had seen her dressing down pupils, often from her own house but it was never quite the same. That professional mask stayed firmly in place. It was as if no one else could get under his skin like he could. What was worst about it though was that he could never let anyone know. Never let Her know.

He couldn't give in to the urge to push her up against the wall and clamp his lips firmly on hers when they were alone in the staff room. Never lean over and lick the chocolate ice cream from the corner of her mouth before Dumbledore chuckled at her and never be able to get her so wound up that they would eventually end up having sex on one of the tables in his dungeon classroom.

He had pondered many a time on this and there was really no other way for it to be. He would be the ridicule of the entire staff, never mind the student body if he tried something like that only to find himself slapped in the face, which is exactly what she would do.

So instead he would do what he had been doing for the last fifteen years. He would do everything he could to antagonise, victimise and generally irritate her precious Gryffindor pupils so that they in turn would go to her and… well thinking about that wasn't going to help him get the second year's summer-holiday assignments marked.

"Ah, Dennis Creevey." He thought aloud before dipping his quill in the red ink sitting next to him and writing: _F-. A pathetic piece of work. I would expect better from a slug than this horrific Gryffindor excuse for an essay_. That was sure to wind her up nicely to start the term.

A/N: So this is a very weird fic. I was in a weird mood when I wrote it. What else can I say?


	2. Chapter 2

"I swore to _Umbridge_ that I'd do whatever was necessary to help Harry Potter become an Auror... even if I had to tutor him every night. He needs his Potions NEWT Severus...What do I have to do to get you to reconsider your decision?" Minerva asked, obviously nearing the end of her tether.

"I would have to see you walk into the great hall in nothing but your underwear before I would let Harry Potter into my NEWT class!" Severus spat back at her across the smouldering embers of the staff-room fire.

Now that was an image he wanted to dwell on, but he used all his self control not to. He would be damned if he was going to loose this argument simply by getting caught up in his own sordid fantasies.

He had been expecting this since he had first seen the 5th years' results and more specifically, those of the-boy-who-failed-to-get-the-grade-he-needed-in-potions. So when Minerva had entered the staff room this evening he hadn't been at all surprised when she offered him coffee, sat herself down opposite him and leant forward towards him.

It wasn't even as if he objected to this after all. In fact, he had been looking forward to it quite immensely and intended to reap absolutely everything he could out of the encounter. The fact that his trousers were now distinctly uncomfortable was testament to the fact that he was certainly enjoying this.

"Fine then. Be like that Severus but damn you to hell and back again for it." she retorted, before standing and turning on herheel to leave the room.

Severus resisted the urge to sigh out loud but was glad that they had been alone in the room as he shifted a little in his seat. There was something about antagonising the Potter boy and infuriating the Gryffindor Head and proved more satisfying to him than picking on the rest of their house put together.

Perhaps it was simply because Minerva seemed so especially passionate about him and when she defended him the things about her that always turned him on were amplified so many times over. As she became more and more worked up so did he and so when he had conjured the image of her appearing to dinner in the great hall in nothing but black satin it slipped out and into the conversation before he could stop himself. He supposed he could only be grateful that his usual sarcastic bite had certainly masked the possibility of it being taken as an authentic proposal.

Over the next few weeks the argument was re-kindled several times but always with the same result. He wasn't just going to bend his own stringent rules for the sake of one student and even if he might have thought about it, the look in her eyes as her cheeks flushed every time she tried to persuade him was more than enough reason not to.

Despite the atmosphere in which they were all living and the role into which he had once again been thrust, he could honestly say that there was, for the first time in a long time, something in his life that he genuinely looked forward to. Of course he took the utmost pains not to let this show however; he would hate for anyone to find out the truth. He repressed a shudder at what that would mean to his reputation and well, if Minerva herself found out it would probably mean the end to his life on this planet, as a human being in any case.

With things as they were the last few days before the students arrived back again were hectic beyond belief and the intermittent 'heated discussions' with the Deputy Headmistress which often left him incapable of concentrating on what he was supposed to have been doing, didn't help. When the opening feast finally did arrive Severus was tetchy and out of sorts. Even he was beginning to think that things were getting out of hand. Despite the plus point of watching Minerva's increasing frustration which, for some reason he couldn't identify, was different from the way she had seemed when clashing with Umbridge, his constant distraction and in some instances complete physical betrayal, were wearing him down.

By the time all the staff and the returning students were seated he wanted nothing more than it all to be done for the day hoping that once classes resumed the following morning some form of normality in at least his school life might return.

Severus was busy thinking of what ghastly questions he could put into his regular start of term revision tests when the main doors swung open with a bang and Minerva entered, the first years following in her wake. Minerva wearing an awful lot less than she ought to be when in public, accompanying the first years.

He eventually established that she must have charmed her robes because he seemed to be the only one in the room who was having problems equating what he was seeing with the woman they all knew. The maroon ensemble was decent, if only just, and the gold embroidery gave it a little something. Then there was the suspenders, not fussy, relatively practical and yet they… the way the stockings moulded to her skin, shining ever so slightly and giving the impression that those perfectly sculpted legs were as smooth as glass…

There could be no doubt about the statement she was making - she was a Gryffindor through and through. Right down to her underwear. It wasn't the fact that she looked spectacularly attractive that had the most effect on him though it was the fact that her head was held high and she looked him straight in the eye the whole way down the hall.

He could barely refrain from staring as she turned and leant down to pick up the sorting hat, before transferring her weight onto one leg. The pose, he suspected wouldn't be observably different to her normal stance underneath the voluminous robes he was becoming certain that she must be wearing, but it was cocky enough to let him know that she knew there was nothing he could do to get out of it now. He was going to have to accept Harry Potter into his class.

However, her little performance was leaving him with a far more urgent problem. For the first time since he had been a student himself, Severus had the unnerving feeling that if he had to stand up from behind the table at this moment he might have a serious problem. He just about succeeded in managing to tune out what was going on around him, drowning it in the thoughts of the most non-erotic subject he could think of.

By the time all the students were sorted, he had no idea how many new Slytherin's he had but he was at least fairly certain that he wasn't going to embarrass himself. He didn't eat much during the feast but enough that it wasn't obvious. He had thought he was home and dry when the Headmaster dismissed the students, but just as he was about to escape himself he felt a familiar presence behind him.

Glancing up, his worst fears were realised as Minerva not only leaned in to talk to him, but leaned in far enough that his only options were to turn and stare in the total opposite direction from her, or to have her ample cleavage floating in the corner of his eye.

"I'll schedule Mr Potter in for your NEWT class then shall I?" she whispered into his ear.

The husky quality to her voice was not one he'd ever heard her use before, but he liked it, he realised as it became obvious that indeed he might not be leaving his seat for some time to come. What he meant to say in response was something along the lines that she could he supposed do whatever she wished, but what came out ended in something more like a wavering and unsure 'uhhu'. He could have sworn she smiled like the cat that got the cream as she stood up and said a grateful 'thank you' before finally leaving him alone.

As Severus sat there, he once again did his best to think of something other than the ample curve of ivory skin, encased in the delicate brassier and how it had all but brushed his shoulder. The way she had leaned in, down over his shoulder, her breath caressing his skin, her lips only fractions of an inch from his ear. It was only then that he realised that he'd never been that close to her, whether clad or not, and it was then that his logical mind kicked in.

Knowing Minerva McGonagall he should have expected her to do something like this, but he wouldn't have expected her to wear something special for the occasion. After all, he was fairly certain that suspenders weren't her usual garb of choice while teaching and neither were the heels. So why had she put them on knowing that he was going to be the only to see her? Why had she stood so close, taunted him almost unless… unless she knew what she was doing to him.

That thought was met by very mixed emotions. Another wave of arousal at the thought of her actively teasing him in public and yet he was also angry at being manipulated so thoroughly. The question was, who exactly was it he was angry at…

Frustrated and still undeniably aroused, he rose from the table and swept out of the Great Hall, knowing that the new first years would be being taken care of for now. He headed back for his own rooms, determined to do something to 'pull himself together' before he was due to give his own welcome to the new Slytherins.

On entering his quarters he immediately noticed the missive sitting on his empty desk. He knew just whom it was from even before he saw the distinctive copper plate.

Severus, 

Just a copy of the new class lists for tomorrow, I thought you might like to update your registers.

I also thought you might like to know that after I have settled my First Years, I shall be in my rooms and ready for company (as long as they don't mind my 'casual attire').

I hope you enjoyed this years Opening Ceremony as much as I did.

Yours truly,

Minerva

Letting the sheets of parchment slip from his hand, the corner of Severus' mouth twitched upwards. It looked as though his days of daydreaming might just be over and even he could cope with Harry Potter if that was the case.

**A/N: **well, I wrote a second part…. all thanks to some well timed prodding by Selmak.

Thanks for reading and please do respond – as Selmak just proved I do take heed grin

Linds


End file.
